Somewhere Between Love and Reason (cont.)

I made some minor edits to the new tracks, and uploaded them as well as the updated album artwork to Last.fm. There is a short review period, and hopefully the tracks will be available for streaming as well as download very, very soon.

I admit that I am very satisfied with the work I've done on these tracks--the whole album really. It took longer to put this album together than any of the releases I ever did for Hogle Lab, mainly because I am far busier than I used to be. SBLR is an album that I can't stop listening to even after hundreds of listens--and I have heard it more than a hundred times, easily.

Thanks for listening, and I hope you enjoy listening to Somewhere Between Love and Reason!

Somewhere Between Love and Reason

Although I can no longer do work on the tracks on the debut album "Love and Reason," there are some very cool songs that I've produced in the last year that would fit really well on the tracklist. Because of this, I'm putting together a new release for Last.fm called "Somewhere Between Love and Reason." Technically it is a hybrid of the debut and the completed tracks from the album I've been working on, tentatively called "Somewhere Between Sound and Silence," but with my academic schedule, I find myself stretched quite thin on time, and it would be nice to have a little musical output. So, in the coming weeks, I'm going to update the artwork, and issue the revised debut by nosneb, complete with new tracks, including: Keep it Inside, I'll Take You, and Recognize.

In other news, I've begun a new focus in my Master's degree program. I'm actually considering doing a Ph.D. in Musicology, starting next Fall, and furthering my research on the Genealogy, History and Development of Industrial Music, which is the focus of much of my graduate work right now. My devotion to passion for electronic music has led me to make a career out of the scholarship of it, rather than focusing on participating in the production/performance of it. Hence, I make all of my albums, tracks, etc, available for free.

Keep it Inside

I have posted a demo version of a new track called 'Keep it Inside.' This is the first nosneb track to feature vocals, and being that I am very pleased with the progress I'm making on it, I thought I would share it with the interweb. To listen to this new song, check out the nosneb myspace page.

Love and Reason

I finally got around to updating my artist page on Last.fm, and uploaded the album "Love and Reason." I began writing it in the fall of 2005, and the fall of 2008 was the last time I was able to collect tracks remaining from those writing sessions. The hard drive used to keep the original (and backup) of my work was erased, leaving me with only master copies. Therefore, I arranged the tracks and placed them on the Internet as cultural artifacts of my milieu.

Now to go somewhere silent.

When the time to let go has long passed...

From time to time, in spite of the medication I take to control my mood, I still feel pangs of regret for a past flame I let die out. To be more accurate, I killed it. I treated someone who cared for me so horribly, and I think I may have fucked them up irrevocably. Guilt is a powerful teaching tool, and it has done much to make me afraid to reach out to others, both because I don't want to hurt anyone or get hurt by anyone. To take it all back, rewind the time.. but I know it is best to simply move on. More and more the visage of this person appears in my mind, and her image causes an old wound to reopen. So much time has passed, and yet I doubt it is enough to even fantasize about our paths crossing again, successfully. In fact, it would probably be a gift to her if I let more than a year pass without any contact. I want to be redeemed. I want to be forgiven, and for things to be reconciled, even though hope has long since died out. A fool I've been, and will continue to be until I forgive myself. And that is precisely what needs to happen.. which also may be impossible.

Crossing Over from 08 to 09

Saying goodbye has never come easy to me. In fact, I usually leave things left unresolved until the wound heals and there is nothing left to be discussed. I keep hoping with each boundary crossed is another chance to reinvent myself, but I find a static existence is all that welcomes me.

But here I am. It is 2009 now, and I can only depend of good things to come. Why? Because though things can get worse, nothing can bring my spirits any lower.

So here is to it. 2009. Ready. Set. Go.

Apocalyptic Nightmare

Since I've had an increase in my dosage of Cymbalta, I've been experiencing quite vivid dreams most nights. This is strange since normally I don't have dreams that I can actually see while I'm asleep. I have always attributed this to the fact that I am a heavy ganja rocker. But lately, and especially last night, I had a dream that was seemingly real until I awoke safe in my bed, disoriented from medication withdraw. This is a very strange feeling to describe because I can only use "tripping" as the best word to equate the feeling.

I don't know where the dream began, or where it took such a strange turn. In fact, now the only parts of it I can remember is the nuclear blast, the massive debris, and preparing for a second attack. After that, was a series of scenes in which I walked around the devastation, and the places I saw were not quite right, but I knew what I was looking at, as if they were the mental projections real places from my past and present.

Lately, I've been spending many of my waking hours contemplating the nature of evil, as well as the Biblical book of Revelation. I have not done for the sake of faith, but as a point of academic interest. Who doesn't desire to have the workings of the natural world connect in fluidity with the mystery of the cosmic universe? It is the negative capability that Keats describes that makes it possible for us to function in a world without certainty, and I have begun the habit of dismissing the unknowable to being genuine mystery. But I can't help but wonder if what I dismiss as mystery remains so only because I lack the time, ability, or motivation to seek out the answer. The phrase "seek and ye shall find" comes to mind, but at what point does seeking become obsession and lack any productive merit?

Plurality: I am a finite being living in an infinite universe. I am both god and bacteria, simple and complex--dynamic and static.. for the more things change, the more they stay the same.