Willy the Spy:
If you constantly complain about the town you live in, yet have the means (money) to move somewhere else, maybe you should consider doing so. Unless you secretly enjoy looking down on the community around you since it gives you a greatly needed sense of superiority...
--
OK, now I didn't know it at the time, but he was referring to college professors who live in small towns, specifically Mt Pleasant, and then complain from their ivory towers about the "lack of culture." But I was referring to St. Louis, where I am currently living, because that is where my family has lived and will always live, so I commented:
Whinger the Ginger:
the problem is.. even if I move away.. I'm still anchored to this god-forsaken town.
--
and I get chastised by my mother for embarrassing her by putting down St. Louis, MI.
--
Private Rachelle Sunday at 4:25pm
--this person graduated from the same high school, and is best friends with a family I also consider my best friends.
Whinger the Ginger:Sunday at 4:55pm
--It may sound snide, but I thought it was an honest question
Private RachelleSunday at 4:57pm
Private RachelleSunday at 4:58pm
--
Stop. I want to say for the record that at this point I was not on the defense because she doesn't know what she is talking about. I wasn't about to say that to her, that I am a broke ass, that I was so poor recently that I had to move back in with my parents, but only because my entire savings and credit was wiped out by living with people much like who she is describing; "you act just like all those brats that come up here from the burbs and act like you're doing the town a favor by living here, even though you hate it, cause theyre too lazy, too mediocre, and too cowardly to actually try to be the people they think they are." The thing is.. I like Mt Pleasant, too. I was talking about St Louis. For a country bumpkin like myself, I can find a lot to do in a place like Mt Pleasant. Where she is dead wrong though is that I don't have any money. I have nothing to my name but a bunch of college debt. So instead of of defending myself.. I deflected:
Whinger the Ginger:Sunday at 5:00pm
Private RachelleSunday at 5:03pm
----
I don't know why, but this one pissed me off because she said my mind was second rate. Now if my ego wasn't first rate like she said then I probably would have just laughed it off. But again, she is wrong, I have spent more time with her than she realizes, and I can read her posts on Facebook because we have all the same friends... in fact.. when my friend lived with her for three years in the last decade he would come over and tell me how horrible it was to live with her because she was such a slob. But she is an annoying vocal political leftist who grew up poor and studied marxism in college, making her a college-educated poor person who holds a grudge towards people from the suburbs for being who they were raised to be. I should have said that.. instead I just said
Whinger the Ginger:Sunday at 5:10pm
Private RachelleSunday at 5:13pm
Whinger the Ginger:Sunday at 5:16pm
Private RachelleSunday at 5:18pm
Whinger the Ginger:Sunday at 5:18pm
Private RachelleSunday at 5:20pm
Whinger the Ginger:Sunday at 5:22pm
Private RachelleSunday at 5:23pm
Whinger the Ginger:Sunday at 5:24pm
---
Later that evening, I was sitting in my garden going over the events of that scuffle, and I was brooding, obsessing because I felt like she was just a fat idiot, and yet I didn't want to get back into it with her--because then she really would be right about me being a bitter child. So instead I thought about all the things that I could say that placate her own ego and sent her this message:
---
And shortly after this appeared on the conversation:
Willy the SpySunday at 11:00pm
--She didn't say anything to me, but that may be as good as it gets. Now the asterisk I wrote refers to this:
*FROM WIKIPEDIA:
Psychological projection or projection bias (including Freudian Projection) is the unconscious act of denial of a person's own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, such as to the weather, the government, a tool, or to other people. Thus, it involves imagining or projecting that others have those feelings.
Denial: you'd hit a lot closer to home if you sounded like you had the first clue what I do with my life.
Attribution: you're just coming off like the bitter child that you so clearly are. it's clear who's stung here, [whinger].
--
and I get chastised by my mother for embarrassing her by putting down St. Louis, MI.
--
Private Rachelle
suck it up, [whinger], there's a whole world out there.
--this person graduated from the same high school, and is best friends with a family I also consider my best friends.
Whinger the Ginger:
haven't you also lived in the same 16 mile radius your entire life?
--It may sound snide, but I thought it was an honest question
Private Rachelle
yeah, and I actually like Mt Pleasant. and unlike you, I hardly have the funds to do whatever I please. you act just like all those brats that come up here from the burbs and act like you're doing the town a favor by living here, even though you hate it, cause theyre too lazy, too mediocre, and too cowardly to actually try to be the people they think they are. I like Mt Pleasant and I want to devote the foreseeable future to making it a better place. if you don't, we both know you could do whatever else you wanted. so, again, suck it up.
Private Rachelle
and actually, no. now that I think of it, we didn't move to central michigan til I was 6. so there were those cosmopolitan years in the Flint area. and the years I lived in the thumb and Midland. and know what I learned? it could be a lot fucking worse than Mt Pleasant.
--
Stop. I want to say for the record that at this point I was not on the defense because she doesn't know what she is talking about. I wasn't about to say that to her, that I am a broke ass, that I was so poor recently that I had to move back in with my parents, but only because my entire savings and credit was wiped out by living with people much like who she is describing; "you act just like all those brats that come up here from the burbs and act like you're doing the town a favor by living here, even though you hate it, cause theyre too lazy, too mediocre, and too cowardly to actually try to be the people they think they are." The thing is.. I like Mt Pleasant, too. I was talking about St Louis. For a country bumpkin like myself, I can find a lot to do in a place like Mt Pleasant. Where she is dead wrong though is that I don't have any money. I have nothing to my name but a bunch of college debt. So instead of of defending myself.. I deflected:
Whinger the Ginger:
isn't there something on youtube or vh1 you should be couch-locked into.. I'd say something to reduce you to a pile of goo.. but.. that wouldn't be much of a change for you.. now would it?
Private Rachelle
oh [whinger], if only we could all be as intellectually superior as you. here's the thing. you know the truth, I know the truth, and I'm reasonably sure that anyone that knows both of us has the time as well. so I'm not gonna defend myself against a vision of my life conjured by a second rate mind with a first rate ego, with whom I haven't spent 15 minutes with in the last decade.
----
I don't know why, but this one pissed me off because she said my mind was second rate. Now if my ego wasn't first rate like she said then I probably would have just laughed it off. But again, she is wrong, I have spent more time with her than she realizes, and I can read her posts on Facebook because we have all the same friends... in fact.. when my friend lived with her for three years in the last decade he would come over and tell me how horrible it was to live with her because she was such a slob. But she is an annoying vocal political leftist who grew up poor and studied marxism in college, making her a college-educated poor person who holds a grudge towards people from the suburbs for being who they were raised to be. I should have said that.. instead I just said
Whinger the Ginger:
Just keep telling yourself that you are doing good in the world. You know what's best for people better than they do after all... sitting on your couch in your own filth with all the answers to life's tough questions. I just wish I could be you.. all the time.
Private Rachelle
you'd hit a lot closer to home if you sounded like you had the first clue what I do with my life. you're just coming off like the bitter child that you so clearly are. it's clear who's stung here, [whinger]. thankfully, I can't imagine that anything hits that close to home where you're a full on sociopath. a keg stand with your supercool trustfund buddies should fix you up. <-- I don't know a single person with a trustfund
Whinger the Ginger:
yeah.. and there isn't just a little bit of projection* in all that..
Whinger the Ginger:
Sunday at 5:17pmyour opinion of me doesn't change my opinion of me..
Private Rachelle
nothing could. but I don't think you understand what projection means. I guess you're as mediocre a psychologist as you are a writer. one day you'll find your calling, I'm sure. maybe law? or being a serial killer?
Whinger the Ginger:
and I'm stung?
Whinger the Ginger:
Sunday at 5:19pmkeep trying though.. it's funny.. like watching fat people run. <--- Egging her on at this point
Private Rachelle
if you weren't, would you still be flailing at me with half baked insults that literally make no sense? carry on [whinger], you're the king.
Whinger the Ginger:
I just like to see what you'll say next.. children say the darnedest things.
Private Rachelle
I think I've said everything I'm comfortable saying about you. sorry to disappoint.
Whinger the Ginger:
well then we're done here.. have a nice evening :-)
---
Later that evening, I was sitting in my garden going over the events of that scuffle, and I was brooding, obsessing because I felt like she was just a fat idiot, and yet I didn't want to get back into it with her--because then she really would be right about me being a bitter child. So instead I thought about all the things that I could say that placate her own ego and sent her this message:
Whinger the Ginger: June 13 at 10:58pm
Rachelle,
I'm sorry for the things I said to you earlier. You were right, it stung when you said my mind was second rate. I was being presumptuous, self-righteous, petulant, unscrupulous brat. I need to be more discrete on facebook. I am often insecure about my writing, and it hit a nerve when you told me I'm a mediocre writer. So, I just want to let you know that I'm sorry we had words, and I deserved everything you said to me.
And I know I could be happier somewhere else, and have the means to move on, but like you said, I'm lazy and mediocre, and it is easier to simply act superior than everyone else around me. I should just suck it up. I just had a bad night at the River Rock last night, and was feeling belligerent when I woke up this morning. I know I probably didn't even phase you, but I don't like embarrassing myself on other people's profile pages, so for everything, I apologize. It was my fault.
Whinger the Ginger
I'm sorry for the things I said to you earlier. You were right, it stung when you said my mind was second rate. I was being presumptuous, self-righteous, petulant, unscrupulous brat. I need to be more discrete on facebook. I am often insecure about my writing, and it hit a nerve when you told me I'm a mediocre writer. So, I just want to let you know that I'm sorry we had words, and I deserved everything you said to me.
And I know I could be happier somewhere else, and have the means to move on, but like you said, I'm lazy and mediocre, and it is easier to simply act superior than everyone else around me. I should just suck it up. I just had a bad night at the River Rock last night, and was feeling belligerent when I woke up this morning. I know I probably didn't even phase you, but I don't like embarrassing myself on other people's profile pages, so for everything, I apologize. It was my fault.
Whinger the Ginger
---
And shortly after this appeared on the conversation:
Willy the Spy
Wow. That was unexpected.
Private Rachelle
Sunday at 11:05pmapologies will.
--She didn't say anything to me, but that may be as good as it gets. Now the asterisk I wrote refers to this:
*FROM WIKIPEDIA:
Psychological projection or projection bias (including Freudian Projection) is the unconscious act of denial of a person's own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, such as to the weather, the government, a tool, or to other people. Thus, it involves imagining or projecting that others have those feelings.
Denial: you'd hit a lot closer to home if you sounded like you had the first clue what I do with my life.
Attribution: you're just coming off like the bitter child that you so clearly are. it's clear who's stung here, [whinger].
--
and my point was that she was stung by what I said so she assumed that I was stung by what she said. The only thing I was thinking was "what an idiot." Because she was making these huge assumptions about me and then ranting about all this bullshit when she didn't even know what I was talking about in the first place. Instead of engaging that kind of stupidity, I just egged her on until she felt stupid, and then sent her a little fake apology to.. I don't know.. make myself feel better, I guess. The thing is everything I say at this point is a rationalization because I don't want to feel like I was intellectually beaten. I was making silly little snide remarks and she was being a colossal bitch. I think that I feel inferior to her because my best friends think she is the smartest person they know.. but to me she is an educated idiot.
I realized tonight that we mock the people we hate when we feel inferior to them because it is pathetic to pick on someone who is less than you. Everything that she said to me could be equally applied to her with the "intellectually superiority" and "still flailing at me with half-baked insults." I hate how vocal people like this are. And the problem has become that I feel shitty not because I was wrong, or because she was right, but because I got in a fight with someone.. anyone. Last week it was something very similar with another girl over music taste. Oh well, one day at a time.
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