Fading Anger

It is strange how quickly the anger a resentment wanes after all this time. I've been living home now for about a month, and I have run into many people I haven't seen in over five years. Some of these people were very mean to me in high school, and now they are all the friendliest people you'd ever talk to--I'd never have thought they were the same fucks that gave me a hard time growing up.

Not that I'm not reserved against some of these people, but I have a hard time remaining so seething about these things when they seem to have moved past it. It is hard to be mad at someone who has been stuck in the month after graduation for eight years. I say the month after because that is the point at which most high school graduates finish receiving their celebratory money and have to start working. Many of those graduates tried to go to college, but like baby sea turtles, only a small fraction make it out to sea. That in itself is pathetic, and I shouldn't be mad at people that I pity.

It is such a strange feeling; I'm sure these people haven't changed THAT much, and yet everything is different. I don't feel like I have changed that much either, but little by little, I have over a long period of time. What I thought was important as a teenager is no longer important--which leads me to believe that what I find important now will seem irrelevant in ten more years.

I find most things boring anyways. Everything anyone says to me always sounds like old news. Because I believe in practicing good pragmatics, I always placate and accommodate people. Some call this enabling, and in many ways I enable people's bad habits, but it beats having no one to talk to all of the time instead of just most of the time.