Facebook and the Death of Integrity

A word I often hear people use as though it is self-explanatory is 'integrity.' It is often used when I hear someone talking about a good deed that another person had done:

"They're a good person. They show a lot of integrity."

But I find myself asking whether or not people completely understand what this means. I take the word to mean something similar to integration, meaning that a person demonstrates a certain amount of consistency in character. In other words, a person who acts the same around their parents as they do around their friends, and in church the same way they act in a bar would ultimately be a person of considerable integrity.

This is not the implied definition that one might deduce from the way it is most commonly used. I had the same problem with people using the word 'belligerent' when I was a freshman in college, which refers to aggressive, fight-seeking behavior. My roommates used it as a word to mean very drunk, which while I admit is sometimes synonymous, is not necessarily.

The reason I bring all this up is because I feel as though Facebook has completely obliterated all semblances of integrity. We are so connected with people that we are afraid to say something that will offend anyone. I run into this problem very frequently. I say something that I would say to my college friends, but my family or people from my hometown read it and are offended. Now, I'm not concerned about what people say about me behind my back because I will tell anyone to their face that I think they are an idiot.. except maybe my parents.. but there are those who are close to me (specifically my mother, but others also) that are so troubled that everyone is able to read what I write.

Firstly, I'm no diplomat. Secondly, I don't want people to have these fairy tale assumptions about me, although if they aren't stupid they will be able to see the truth in what I write, or see the joke.. whichever I'm aiming for. Facebook has killed integrity, or at least it has exposed people for the double-faced schemers that they are.. in some aspects. Some people are wise enough to exercise discretion on the Book and not share hostile thoughts, but what that leaves is a very banal newsfeed.

What I find to be most irritating are the people who do say reductive, prejudice, and generally retarded statements behind the backs of others, and meanwhile present themselves as some noble hero through the feed. Yes.. I'm talking about my brother. You see, my brother is in the Coast Guard, and he is very proud of being in the Coast Guard. And in many respects he is really good at what he does. And I am proud of that. But the way in which he boasts his superiority is a little irritating at times. This is because he tells these stories which I know aren't entirely true, but he thinks will impress me so he embellishes. Actually, I don't think that he can remember what really happened, and so his brain fills in the gaps with whatever bullshit he can make up on the spot. This seems like it would be a symptom of pathological lying, but what do I know? I do know that I would respect him a lot more if he wouldn't try so hard to impress me. Further, I would appreciate him a lot more if he treated me less like an audience and more like a friend. That's just it though, I think he is so used to having an audience for his "epic stories" that he loses sight of the fact that he isn't the center of attention.

My mother would explain that it is his sanguine temperament that leads to this kind of behavior--which I think is retarded because people don't have temperaments.. humorism is pre-Victorian bullshit. I think my brother is just desperate to matter to someone. So what he does is he post these patriotic statements into the feed, making everyone think he is some kind of valiant hero, and meanwhile he is one of the most prejudice people I know. Not in a racial way, no.. more like he judges poor people, or people who don't look as polished as he tries to look. He judges white trash the same way I judge stupid people. Then he posts bullshit like "I'm so glad that Thomas Jefferson was good with words 234 years ago," and "My thoughts and prayers are with the Coast Guardsmen who lost their lives serving their country today." So noble, but my money is betting on him writing those things to glorify himself as a noble person, which makes the actions seem so hollow. But stupid people won't know this because they are stupid.

I know I sound really bitter, but the fact remains that I take a lot of heat for the things I say when I'm just being consistent. I'm annoyed that people think I should act in a certain way because it won't rock the boat. People are so sensitive about the sandcastle that is their social appearance that they are willing to sacrifice integrity so that people can be delusional. It's really fucking annoying. Mostly because I feel so displaced and invalidated by shallow plasticity.

Ok, I'm done ranting.