Apocalyptic Nightmare

Since I've had an increase in my dosage of Cymbalta, I've been experiencing quite vivid dreams most nights. This is strange since normally I don't have dreams that I can actually see while I'm asleep. I have always attributed this to the fact that I am a heavy ganja rocker. But lately, and especially last night, I had a dream that was seemingly real until I awoke safe in my bed, disoriented from medication withdraw. This is a very strange feeling to describe because I can only use "tripping" as the best word to equate the feeling.

I don't know where the dream began, or where it took such a strange turn. In fact, now the only parts of it I can remember is the nuclear blast, the massive debris, and preparing for a second attack. After that, was a series of scenes in which I walked around the devastation, and the places I saw were not quite right, but I knew what I was looking at, as if they were the mental projections real places from my past and present.

Lately, I've been spending many of my waking hours contemplating the nature of evil, as well as the Biblical book of Revelation. I have not done for the sake of faith, but as a point of academic interest. Who doesn't desire to have the workings of the natural world connect in fluidity with the mystery of the cosmic universe? It is the negative capability that Keats describes that makes it possible for us to function in a world without certainty, and I have begun the habit of dismissing the unknowable to being genuine mystery. But I can't help but wonder if what I dismiss as mystery remains so only because I lack the time, ability, or motivation to seek out the answer. The phrase "seek and ye shall find" comes to mind, but at what point does seeking become obsession and lack any productive merit?

Plurality: I am a finite being living in an infinite universe. I am both god and bacteria, simple and complex--dynamic and static.. for the more things change, the more they stay the same.